i have found now that i really only post here when there is something in my head i cannot quite release from my mouth, but i need to put somewhere-- even if it is vague-things that only i have full understanding of.
i go through these phases of feeling that i am not a good friend/person/team mate/girlfriend/writer/whatever every so often, and they are entirely unpleasant. usually it means i need to get out of the house and be around people to reassure myself that these are things i've put in my head. guess i'll have to find an opportunity somewhere. working again will help, too. unemployment takes such a toll on self-worth. it's strange how much we've come to identify ourselves with our wages.
a few people have asked how madeleine is doing -- she's much better! she lost a ton of weight which i am now trying to recoup (did i mention she loves bacon more than most things? cat after my own heart!) but she's active and back to her old beebong harassing self. with the donations everyone contributed, we were able to cover half her medical expenses, which was amazing and more than i ever expected. it was a very humbling and wonderful experience. i am reminded that, even when i am feeling Defeated, i am a part of several truly great communities of people and friends and i am so, so grateful for that. sometimes it is difficult for me to express myself on that, but please-- believe me when i say that every comment, every note, every reblog and dollar -- i cannot thank everyone enough. evan and i are planning to give something a little Special to everyone who contributed and spread the word in january-- we'll keep you folks updated.
on that note, i am around in other places if people want to have a better update of my daily life:http://secondmagpie.tumblr.com/